Right now I've been listening to a lot of Simon & Garfunkel, Josh Ritter, and Angels and Airwaves (A&A). One A&A song, "Rite of Spring", has a part that has really spoken to me recently. The part in the song that relates to me and that I love is:
"If I had a chance for another try,
I wouldn't change a thing,
This made me all who I am inside."
The song talks about how there are parts in his life that sucked and that were just terrible, but even though they were bad times in his life, even if he had the chance to go back and fix them or do them over, he wouldn't. These times crafted him into the person who he is today.
I haven't had the worst life, at all, but I feel like I have had my fair share of crappy times and even though some were the worst I hope to encounter in my life I still wouldn't change it for anything because they have shaped me physically, spiritually, and mentally. I feel like the hardest times when you are tested emotionally, spiritually, and even physically that these change your life so much.
Do I wish some things didn't happen? Yes, but I can't change the past; I can only work on the present and hope for the future. I have no clue what the future holds for me and I have been thinking about after college a lot lately and I am really scared. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, but now I'm having second thoughts. I want to do something out of the norm; live in another country and just explore and meet new and crazy people. I want to help people out. How? I have no clue. Just a new feeling I've been having.
I sadly cannot remember when I received it, but my parents got me a plaque kind of thing that had a Bible verse; one that has really stuck with me through all of the hard times and is a source of hope. I know it is considered a little cliche. Here it is:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Thanks Mom and Dad for this cause it has stayed with me throughout the years here at school and will long after. "
"I cannot change the past; I can only work on the present and hope for the future" - Alex Hackett