Sunday, December 16, 2007
During the holiday season, February, mother's day, my birthday, and random times throughout the year, I really think about my mom and how I miss her dearly, how much she has impacted my life, and how I can use my life to impact the world like she did.
I sit and remember how she took care of myself and my two brothers. She was meant to have boys cause she was a hockey, soccer, baseball, football, and basketball mom. She was there to root for us, take us to practices, congratulate us on games won, and pat us on the backs for games that we lost. I sadly have a hard time remembering times with her and any time before high school. I am not here to reflect on every little instance, but want to let you know how she has shaped me into the person I am today.
My mom was a mother, wife, daughter, sister, pastor, youth pastor, teacher, friend, colleague, and servant. She seemed to devote her life to people: not only to her family, her church, youthgroup, but also community and state. My mom worked very hard to minister to the youth; this is where her passion was. I feel like she was very successful especially remembering her funeral where hundreds of college-aged, high school, and middle school kids gathered to pay their respect to her and thank her for everything she's done for them. My mom inspired people to go to college and get a degree, to serve in church and the community, and to not ever get discouraged if something didn't happen the way you wanted it to turn out.
I would never have been here at NNU if it wasn't for my mom and dad forcing me to apply here. I thank them because they knew something that I didn't. She was supportive in everything that I did and was there for me when I was frustrated and when I had a great story to tell. There was something about her that when I was having a bad day or something was on my mind, she could sense it in my voice or see it in my eyes or something and call me out on it. I miss that dearly.
My mother instilled in me a life of love, a high respect and concern for family, a need to cherish friendships, and to live my life pleasing to God. I feel like I have stayed close to each of these, but as like in everything, I could use improvement.
The day my mother passed away, I was the only one in the room with her; I am so glad to be there with her especially since I just arrived home the morning before. I sat with her and talked with her about how much she meant to me and how I love her as well as my great adventure driving up to Alaska. She wasn't in the normal mindset, but I know she heard me. After talking with her I just sat there with her listening to some of her favorite songs, this is where she really inspired me. Even when she was not in the normal mental state, she could still sing along to praise and worship songs. She lived out her faith even up to the very end praising her Lord and Savior. Her last breath was singing. I can only hope to do this.
With this holiday season approaching, I am trying to stray from the normal consumerism/materialistic thoughts and ideas that I usually have, and really come back to the basics. I am thankful for God sending his Son to save a sinner such as I, who may be one of the worst. I am thankful to be able to spend this time of remembrance with my family and friends as well as reflect on past memories.