Saturday, December 25, 2010


been a long time since i've blogged on here. lots of things on my mind. christmas is a very impactful time of year.  this year i spend it alone, lots of people (family & friends) seem real concerned that i'm not with them but i'm ok with it. i don't enjoy all of the buying, the celebrating of things other than jesus' birth, the commercialization. all that aside, that's not the point here. as i have emphasized this before, this blog isn't for others, it is a place for me to document my thoughts and feelings and i allow others to read it if they so choose.

the verse in Romans 7 has been very applicable lately: "i do the things i don't want to do, but the things i want to do those i don't do." more practice, more patience, more mercy, please.

also there is an upside down american flag with these words printed: "my kingdom is not of this world. no one can serve two masters. blessed are the meek. woe to you who are rich. blessed are the poor. love your enemies." these are things i have been trying to engrain and dwell on daily but have been failing. more practice, more patience, more mercy, please.

i was reading through multiple bible stories, analyzing them, trying to understand them better and writing songs from the things i learned or the feelings i gathered from them. one that has really stuck out to me is the story of Elijah on the mount battling against the prophets of baal (doesn't deserve to be capitalized). this piggybacks off of the previous paragraph. basically what is so amazing is how much faith Elijah had to call out to God and how God provided. Elijah was calling out to God to turn their hearts around and to renew with and through fire. nothing has changed from Elijah's time to now, we meaning me, am calling out to God now to turn my heart around and renew me with his fire. baal can be anything: it can be you, the world, money, loved one or a friend, your house, car, a job, or even pride. it is a false god. this is where the piggyback action comes into play. we cannot serve two masters because we will either hate the one and love the other or we will be devoted to one and despise the other. i know i have strayed towards baal frequently. more practice, more patience, more mercy, please.

i love relient k, they have a soft spot in my heart even after i met them and got a sour taste from them personally. all that behind, they know how to write some good things. the songs "silent night" and "i celebrate the day" are played together and really move me. its just amazing how jesus came in baby form, so innocent but with so much purpose and power. i am thankful that he came as a baby so he knows what it is like growing up. it's a tough thing. plus it reminds of how intricate the bible is with the foretelling of jesus' life and how i lack in my daily readings. more practice, more patience, more mercy, please.

i am so thankful to serve a God that cares so much to send himself to save us. i am thankful for a God who is merciful. i am thankful for a God who has given me a wonderful and supportive family. and i am thankful for a God to place encouraging, fun, and loving friends in my path. it's a daily walk for a reason because it's so easy to lose sight of the path. i ask for more practice, more patience, more mercy, oh lord.