So even though I’m super pumped for this weekend, there are still more important things going on in everybody’s’ lives: Matt just got a new car yesterday (good for him), Kyle has a girlfriend now, so on. I want to talk a bit about my mom since I won’t be able to post this on her birthday.
Saturday would be my mom’s birthday. I would’ve already had a card and a little special something sent to her since she was one of the only people’s birthday that I could remember. I am terrible with birthdays ask my best friend Mike, I always forget his. I’m a horrible friend.
As I said sometime in December there are certain times in the year when I just have a tough time, and this is of course one of them. Oh yeah you gotta love Valentines day, but it gets more difficult when I know that a couple days after it should be her birthday. I like to spend it looking at old pictures and trying to remember things about her and calling my brothers and dad.
Times are certainly changing and at a rapid pace. I remember when my dad and mom left that Sunday afternoon the beginning of Freshman year and my dad gave me that great wisdom, “Alex, don’t embarrass the family name.” That’s stuck with me so far and probably for sometime after, but the one thing that I will always remember is when my mom and I said goodbye and how I could see in her eyes that she was so proud of me and excited for what was to become of me here at NNU. I know that I have changed a lot since freshman year, but hopefully for the best, I just know that I am still making her proud today.
During these certain times in the year I always look back on what she has missed out on and that really saddens me; of course I do believe that she sees each of us and those great moments, but I would still love to see her here and hear her reaction to certain things. I know that she would be making trips galore to visit Ian and Jamie and the three grandkids (she always wanted grandkids), I know that she would be here for my graduation planning a get together with all my friends and family members (now my dad is doing that, thanks dad), and probably helping Leo and Jenny move or relocate for the summer to one of the Carolinas.
I just look back and miss talking on the phone with her because she was full of so much wisdom, wisdom that I need right now. Many things have been on my mind: school, after-school, girls, projects, trips, just everything and I know that she would have something to say about each that would help. I know that I have a great family and can talk to them about anything, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel right cause I know that mom and I would talk about it. I feel like I need to communicate more with my family especially since I’m “growing up” because they have wisdoms and insights that will help me.
Since I started this blog, I was always real excited to post 100 blogs and I kept thinking about what it might be, some crazy excursion or a prank, but I am so glad that it could be me sharing my love and memory of my mom.
Happy birthday mom! I miss you tons and love you.