Past Me & Present Me

Had a conversation the other day with my brother, Leo, and his wife, Jenny, about how strange it is the transformation of the person I used to be in middle & high school to now. Someone who wouldn't dare try any new food, or demanding to wear 'name brand' clothes, constantly replying with a snide remark, and thinking I had my life all figured out and who I was, boy was I wrong.

My present me laughs in ridiculousness at my past me, but my past me is dumbfounded and in a state of disbelief of present me and now thinking how my present me will become a past me and then a new present me will be different in some fashion. Now I'm talking like you're watching some Sci-Fi time travel movie, basically I am Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

It is amazing how much I have changed and can thank God for the transformation and hope for more change in other areas of my life. Life is a constant of change and learning how to adapt to the newness whether we like it or not.

Was almost a year since I last blogged (except for this summer/fall when I blogged about the most recent bicycle trip from Vancouver, Canada down the coast to San Diego, California at http://www.willwemakeitacross.blogspot.com), but been meaning to get back and letting others know what is going on in my life, as well as, what is milling around in this noggin of mine.

Past Me say hello to Present Me and Present Me wish good luck to Future You.

life & courage

Life is a courageous event; having the will to get up each day and face the unexpected is a noble accomplishment. This doesn't mean that we don't fail, backslide, or break; we continue to pursue after whatever hopes, dreams, and desires that are in the forefront of our consciousness. Hitting roadblocks and stale places in life is normal, is good, is healthy. It is in the dealing of these hinderances where we decide to choose unhealthy, odd, or bad circumstances. Surrounding yourself with a supportive family, encouraging friends, and a community where you can be comfortable with who you are will only bring you good things. I say this all as encouragement. To also verbalize to myself that everything is going to be alright. 

How bout an update on life...


Moved to Sun Valley, Idaho to be a ski bum for this past winter. It was a good experience, plain and simple. Learned to ski. Experienced good times with friends. Surrounded myself with winter beauty. Met new and wonderful people. A success.

Road tripped down through Utah & Arizona with Evan to visit some friends and experience some awesome nature! Hiked down into the Grand Canyon. Visited with Joe V in the vastness of Phoenix. Hit up a baseball & hockey game. Saw a few old friends. Made a couple new ones. Reconnected with Lia in Flagstaff. Explored the gorgeous Sedona. Then capped off the trip with a great rock climbing trip in the City of Rocks.

Connecticut was next on the travel itinerary. My 10 day visit to the east coast was one of my best thus far. It's always a wonderful time getting to hangout with my niece and nephews. They are at such a fun age! This was the first trip where I felt like my brother and his wife really got along seamlessly; no harassment of the way I am choosing to live my life from one experience to the other while I try out new things.

At this very moment, I am spending my summer back in good ol' Nampa, Idaho. There are so many wonderful people here and the community is continually growing. I am excited for what is to come and am preparing for another bike trip, this time down the west coast from Vancouver, BC to San Diego, CA. More news of this to follow once it gets closer to August.

Here's to courage & living a life that seems like a fable.

Day 17: 30 days of thanks

I am thankful for chips & salsa today. I could eat basket after basket. No better way to fill up and eat a little cheaper. It is also a wonderful way to catch up with a friend! Thank you Mexican restaurants for providing this luxury.

Day 16: 30 days of thanks

Today I am thankful for providence. I spent most of the day calling people about houses to rent and most laughed at me. I am thankful for the two that I saw and one that seems perfect and it is our price point and is furnished and has enough beds for all four of us . I am thankful for the Spirit going ahead of me.

Day 15: 30 days of thanks

Today I am thankful for trust. I cling to Proverbs 3:5 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding." I am thankful to be able to trust in something that will never fail me!

Day 14: 30 days of thanks

Today I am thankful for new beginnings. Today I drove up to Sun Valley, Idaho to start a new job working at a ski rental shop for the winter season. I am super excited for the change of scenery and the opportunity to be with great friends and grow spiritually, physically, mentally, and socially. It is always exciting to start somewhere new, especially in a place you've never been. I love getting to know a town and learning where the great hole in the wall restaurants are and local places. Here's to new beginnings!

Day 13: 30 days of thanks

Today I am thankful for lounging time. I love to just take it easy and lounge. Curl up and read a book, sit and listen to music, good time staring off, it creates great contemplative time, just a time to soak in life. it was great to just take it easy right before taking off to sun valley. you can chill out with friends or alone. thankful for lounge time.

Day 12: 30 Days of thanks

Today I am thankful for generosity. A friend and I were at a used bookstore and I went to throw some trash away and I found a huge bag of day old donuts so I grabbed them! Granted it was the dumpster to DK Donuts. So I texted a few friends asking them if they wanted any and of course they did. We headed to visit another friend at a coffee shop in Boise and I just felt I needed to share this providence so everyone in the coffee shop got a donut or two and then we took to the streets of downtown looking for others to share this sugary goodness with. It was a giving back moment. I am thankful for the generosity so so so so so so so many people have given me through a room to crash in, food to eat, a place to store my belongings, a place to park my car, paying for a bike tune up for me, making me dinner, allowing me to use their internet, giving me a place to duck in out of the cold. So much generosity to accepted and so much to be given. I am thankful to be able to be on the receiving end, but am so glad to be on the giving end.

Day 11: 30 days of thanks

Today I am thankful for bad movies. There are few things that bring a group of friends together to laugh and create life long inside jokes from watching terribly made films. So many wonderful memories have been made by them. Late nights. Hurting tummies. Junk food binging. Wonderful times indeed.

Day 10: 30 days of thanks

Today I am thankful for the unexpected randomness in life. I love shotgun trips, surprising friends, running into someone where you don't expect them, impromptu jam sessions, finding gold at thrift stores, catching a game winning goal when you turn on the tv, finding out a friend lives a street away, walking around a bend and get totally blown away by the beauty ahead of you, narrowly averting death, feeling the spirit move in you, accidentally sneezing on someone, finding money in your pocket, getting free popcorn or soda at the movies, when your iPod is shuffling all the bomb songs in a row, and so so so so much more!

Day 9: 30 days of thanks

Today I am thankful for laughter. I am blessed with so many funny friends!!! Some crack me up with their crazy stories or with actual jokes or with phone messages or with animated gifs or by sleepwalking or by singing ridiculous songs or by quoting movie/tv show quotes. I am also glad that I can participate in creating laughter too.

Day 8: 30 days of thanks

Today I am thankful for memories. The handful that I can remember. I am so blessed to have made some great memories with family, friends, and strangers. It has been great to rehash them lately and get reminded of ones I have forgotten about. Thankfully I am adding to my memory bank everyday.

Day 7: 30 days of thanks

Today I cannot express how thankful I am for my friends. I am blessed with so many awesome friends it is overwhelming! I have friends scattered all over the world and clusters here an there. I am thankful for the laughs, the conversations, the ridiculousness, the generosity, the douchiness, the flakes, the humble, the beautiful, the life of the party, the klutz, the friend I haven't seen in years but we pick up like we'd never been apart. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for my friends. I wish I could thank them all individually but just know that I cherish my time with you because who knows the next time ill see you or talk with ou or remember your birthday or be there to hear you complain or to go shopping with you. So thankful for friends.

Day 6: 30 days of thanks

Yesterday (but its actually not) I was and continue to be thankful for music. Music is such an amazing medium that not only is the creative process so enjoyable and complex but so simple but the end product is life changing. I feel like I could spew off pages and pages into this digital abyss about my love for music but I shan't. The emotional rollercoaster music brings me on is something I cherish so so much whether I'm listening to depressingly sad songs to feed my down and out feelings or getting giddy with friends when a new album gets released. I love road trip music; I love shower music, I love background music, I love playlists, I love shuffle (when it's spitting out gold); I love hearing a friends music; I love new music; I love love love old music; I love to sing to music; I love to play air instruments to music; I love to share music. It's such an important part of who I am and who I am continuing to become.

Day 5: 30 Days of thanks

I am thankful for creation. The clouds have been really impressing me as of lately and seeing Nampa sunsets makes me miss them all the more! The way how intricate plants and trees and pomegranates and the tiny seeds on strawberries or how edamames are a little hairy! I'm thankful for animals in all their different varieties, classes, species, families. How graceful some are and how intimidating others are. I love the ability to partake in creation whether in music or sand castles or snow mans or home made cookies or dumb photographs or nicknames or stories that aren't even true but make your friends laugh! I am thankful that some choose to create life and how beautiful that must be and how amazing when that creation turns into an actual functioning being. It boggles my little creative mind. Today errr maybe like 3 days ago I was but still am thankful for creation.

Day 4: 30 Days of Thanks

Today I am thankful for naps. As of now I am curled up next to two dogs on a couch only big enough for myself. Naps are great snuggle times with man's best friend or a partner. Sometimes it means that you were up late the night before or up early or it could possibly Sunday afternoon. Naps give you that little bit of energy that you need to keep up with the day. Today I am thankful for naps.

Day 3: 30 Days of Thanks

I am thankful for breakfast, my favorite meal. I love it in the morning, I love it late at night. I literally have gone days eating nothing but cereal. Breakfast in bed is a treat too. Whether its a hot meal or cold, breakfast is my preference. I am thankful for breakfast. (Today I had scrambled eggs, tea, and apple spiced muffins).

Day 2: 30 Days of Thanks

Today, I am thankful for technology. We live in an awesome time to be able to stay in contact with people around the world; get turn by turn directions for pretty much anywhere; and the ability to laugh for days at sheer ridiculous videos or memes online. With these I am thankful that it allows me to keep in contact with friends who are countries away or just a handful of miles. Having the ability to watch my niece roll over for the first time or see a birthday party I just am not able to get to. I am thankful for how much technology allows me to be a part of others' lives and continue to grow in those relationships.

Day 1: 30 Days of Thanks

Thankful for freedom, in all it's forms. Freedom of living with less or with more. Freedom to read whatever, whenever. Freedom to create (art, music, poetry, films, photography, nonsense). Freedom to speak openly about my frustration with the government or big oil or about religion or about how much I love my friends and family. Freedom to travel. Freedom to experience. Freedom to free my thinking from oppressive propaganda. Freedom to protest. Freedom to hope. Freedom of love; to share it, to hide it, to shyly slide it across the table on a note, to be filled with it, to beg for it, to yearn for it, and to live within it. Freedom of expression to wear wonky costumes even if it's not Halloween or spend literally a full day at the movie theater camping out for your favorite film or pasting the back of your car or water bottle with stickers of places you've been or people you support or products you love. Freedom of free will. Freedom to pursue happiness in whatever form you find that to be in. Freedom of diet; eating ice cream for dinner, living off of cereal, eating organic, being dairy free, gluten free, soy free, being vegetarian, or filling your pie hole with pie. Freedom of choice: buy this brand, don't buy that, go here, go there, up, down, right, backwards. Freedom to change. Freedom from sin. Freedom from oppression. Freedom to forgive. Freedom to be forgiven. Thankful for freedom, in all it's forms.

"The Trumpets of Conscience" creed and final testament of MLK Jr.

I providentially came across Martin Luther King Jr.'s "The Trumpet of Conscience" while visiting The White Pine in Idaho a few weekends ago; I had read quotes from MLK Jr. in several other books and was really wanting to pick up some of his own writings. I have also been listening to several of his sermons and speeches for free at this great website called Martin Luther King Jr. and the Global Freedom Struggle. I would recommend 'Paul's Letter to American Christians' as well as 'Loving Your Enemies'; both could be and should be heard today in churches around the country.

I write not as a selfish, holier than thou, but as a man of conviction and belief that there is a better way of life both in the here and now, but as well as in the afterlife. I understand man is flawed and the nature of sin is easy, is more convenient, and is more attractive, but I firmly believe and pray the words Jesus taught his disciples in the Lord's Prayer "...your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" (Matthew 6:9-13).  I do not believe that as spiritual believers that we are to sit back and let the world fall to pieces; in Genesis 1 God created men and women to be in charge of the other creatures and out of love and respect to God we are to be responsible with all the animals, plants, and resources we have been given. I believe we are to creatively oppose hate, violence, poverty, war, and selfishness with love for God, as well as, for one another which are the two greatest commandments (Matthew 22:36-40).  Dr. King speaks about the role of nonviolence and love to help protest on behalf of the afflicted as well as for yourself. I wanted to just share several excerpts that really struck my heart, conscience, and convictions.

As I have said and will continue to say until the breath seeps from my lungs, I...am...not...perfect...but there is One who is and I am trying to reflect some sort of portion of Him to others. I encourage conversation, questions, and disagreement.

Excerpts from 'Conscience and the Vietnam War':

"We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for the victims of our nation, and for those it calls enemy, for no document from human hands can make these humans any less our brothers." 

"Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence, when they help us to see the enemy's point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from his view we may indeed see the basic weakness of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition." 

"Every man of humane  convictions must decide on the protest that best suits his convictions, but we must all protest." 

"The Western arrogance of feeling that it has everything to teach others and nothing to learn from them is not just." 

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom."

Excerpts from 'Youth and Social Action':

"Nothing in our glittering technology can raise man to new heights, because material growth  has been made an end in itself, and, in the absence of moral purpose, man himself becomes smaller as the work of man become bigger." 

"The conscience of an awakened activist cannot be satisfied with a focus on local problems, if only because he sees that local problems are all interconnected with world problems."

Excerpts from 'Nonviolence and Social Change':

"Property is intended to serve life, and no matter how much we surround it with rights and respect, it has no personal being. It is part of the earth man walks on; it is not man." 

"We in the west must bear in mind that the poor countries are poor primarily because we have exploited them through political or economic colonialism." 

"Americans in particular must help their nation repent of her modern economic imperialism."

Excerpts from 'A Christmas Sermon on Peace':

"If we don't have goodwill toward men in this world, we will destroy ourselves by the misuse of our own instruments and our own power." 

"Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective." 

"Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly." 

"We must pursue peaceful ends through peaceful means."

"But be assured that we'll wear you down by our capacity to suffer, and one day we will win our freedom. We will not only win freedom for ourselves; we will so appeal to your heart and conscience that we will win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory."

Dr. Kings' words rang true in 1967 and continue to ring true to today. I encourage you to pickup a copy of "The Trumpets of Conscience"; it is a quick read not even a hundred pages. My only aim is to better myself into a more loving and aware being; this isn't a guilt trip or a means to finger point, subsequently the only finger pointing has been at my own life.